Animal Collective Faux Motivational Meetings I-VI

1: One:
(lights up, M is seated in one chair across from a beaver on a bench)
A man sat in a chair holding inspiration at bay. He thought he had a plan, but was not sure how to implement it.
The bunny on the bench asked him: ‘You got a dime?’
The man shook his head.
‘No? Some days I am stuck in the past. You?’
The man nodded.
‘I think it’s going to snow soon.’
M looks up to ceiling.
Blackout.

Two:
(lights up; a plastic squirrel has joined the rabbit and 2 comes to mic.)
The man and the rabbit developed a rapport. The bunny brought along a squirrel who wrote for a well respected periodical.
2: ‘You think you are failing,’ said the squirrel.
M: ‘Yes. At times.’
1: Said the man.  The bunny countered, ‘You are not.’
2: ‘The world,’ the squirrel followed, ‘is out there.’
She pointed passed the man’s right shoulder.
‘And you know it.’
M: ‘Yes. I do.’
Blackout.

1: Three:
(lights up)
One day they all had a great time sitting around counting things, out loud.
They all count things out loud (off mic).
Blackout.

1: Four:
(lights up; a plastic whale has joined the other animals and 3 comes to mic.)
The bunny invited a small shark, who sounded possibly foreign, to join them.
3: ‘Plasma screen teevees and ipods, lots of them. Ohhh and if you live in a loft, and it’s a warehouse district, aww that is tantamount to auto-mah-tic in the book of heep.’
1: ‘True’
2: ‘Yes’
1: The squirrel and rabbit concurred.
3: ‘Do you know Valencia Galaragalala?’ the shark asked.
M: ‘No’
2: For the man did not get out much in such circles.
3: ‘She is divine and a close personal friend of mine. I like you. You two should meet.’
Blackout.

1: Five:
(lights up; M has on a birthday hat)
Time passed and it was the man’s birthday.
2: They had a party and sang some sea shanties.
3: Oddly they were all the small shark knew how to sing.
All: Come all ye young fellers that follows th' sea.
Way! Hey? Blow th' man down!
I'll sing ye a song if ye'll listen t' me.
Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!
Blackout.

1: Six: (lights up)
Again the man sat in a chair with inspiration close at hand.
2: He had a plan now
3: and felt ready.
1: The fake animals on the bench were silent.
2: But supportive.
3: The man stood up to announce his next move.
M: Today. (Blackout)

Curtain